‘Olivia, it’s not—’
‘I’m going to the toilet.’ My fast response is indicative of my deduction. Speaking of her won’t help at all. I speed off, leaving behind a man in clear emotional turmoil. I don’t care.
‘You can’t run away from your mother forever!’ he calls, making my angry feet skid to a shocked halt. Run away?
I swing around violently. ‘Yes!’ I scream. ‘Yes, I can! She ran away from me! She chose her life! She can go to hell if she thinks she can step back into mine when I’m finally over it!’ I stagger back, my fury making me unstable on my feet, while William regards me carefully, warily. I can see his torment, but I have no compassion for him. Now he’s trying to fix things with Gracie Taylor – though I have no idea why he would want that selfish bitch back in his life. ‘I have everything I need,’ I finish more calmly. ‘Why is she here now? After all this time?’
William’s lips press together, his eyes hardening. ‘She had no choice.’
‘Don’t you start!’ I yell, disgusted. ‘You had no choice; she had no choice! Everyone has a choice!’ I remember what Gracie said at the Society – I’ll be damned if he’s going to strut into her life and toss every painful moment I’ve endured all these years to shit! – and suddenly everything comes together. The obviousness of it is almost stupid. ‘She only came back because of Miller, didn’t she? She’s using you! She came back to take away the one true piece of happiness I’ve found since she abandoned me. But she’s got you to do her dirty work!’ I almost laugh. ‘Does she hate me that much?’
‘Don’t talk stupid!’
It’s not stupid at all. She couldn’t have her forever with William, so I shouldn’t have mine with Miller? ‘She’s jealous. She’s blinded by jealousy that I have Miller, that he will do anything so we can be together.’
‘Olivia, that’s—’
‘Perfect sense,’ I whisper, turning slowly away from my whore of a mother’s ex-pimp. ‘Tell her she can go back to where she came from. She’s not wanted here.’ My calmness shocks me, and William’s inhale of hurt breath tells me he’s just as stunned by my hard-heartedness. It’s a shame neither of them considered the hurt and damage I would endure all those years ago.
I drag myself across the club, not looking back to assess the hurt I’ve caused. I plan on curling up on Miller’s office couch and shutting out the world.
‘Hey.’
I look up as I’m weaving through the corridors below Ice and see Miller walking towards me. Lucky for him, I haven’t even the capacity to lob a few choice words at him. ‘Hey.’
‘What’s the matter?’
I manage to give him a really? look, and he backs down immediately. Good move. ‘You look tired, sweet girl.’
‘I am.’ I feel like all life has been sucked out of me. I walk straight into him and use what’s left of my energy to crawl up his body and cling to him, locking every limb around him. He accepts my need for support willingly, turning and trudging back the way he came.
‘I feel like it’s been too long since I’ve heard your laugh,’ he says quietly as he lets us into his office and transports me to his couch.
‘There’s not much to be so over the moon about right now.’
‘I beg to differ,’ he disagrees, taking us down to the squidgy leather, me beneath him, but I don’t release my hold of him. ‘I’m fixing things, Olivia. Everything will be all right.’
I smile sadly to myself, admiring his valour but worrying that by fixing problems, he’ll be creating others. I also consider the fact that Miller can’t make my mother disappear. ‘OK,’ I breathe, feeling my hair being twisted until it’s tugging at my scalp.
‘Would you like me to get you anything?’ he asks.
I shake my head. I don’t need anything. Just Miller. ‘I’m fine.’
‘Jolly good.’ He reaches behind him and starts to push my legs from his back. I don’t make it difficult for him, despite wanting to remain attached to him forever. My muscles go limp and I puddle beneath him in a useless heap. ‘Take a nap.’ His lips meet my forehead and he pushes himself up, immediately pulling his suit into place before he offers a small smile and strides away.
‘Miller?’
He stops at the door and pivots slowly on his expensive shoes until his stoic expression greets me.
‘Find another way.’ I don’t need to elaborate.
He nods slowly but unconvincingly. Then he leaves.
My eyes are incredibly heavy. I struggle to keep them open, and as soon as they close, Nan’s face pops into my darkness and they’re snapping open again. I need to check in. Rolling onto my side, I find my phone and dial, collapsing to my back when it starts to ring.
And ring.
And ring.
‘Hello?’